Parody porch · not a mint
He came for the candy. He stayed for the float.
Sheet on. Eye holes cut by hand. Pumpkin full. One sneaker still on the driveway, the other making a point. $ETFG is that point, kept as a ticker.
C/A
ESFy1ZwBU5NsFMzH2rkAenByo6KE1Ke11uCCxdYUpump
Solana contract. Copy the whole line.
Rewards wallet
8TSdwec3jMAo1U57QxfKcnVENdAwfXQpaWiyC4nWbrjS
13,500,000 $ETFG moves here after launch for the contests. Public wallet. Paid out by hand.
Porch cam
Live ring cam
He knows the camera is on. Unmute if you want the doorbell.
The Friendly 13
13 drawings. 13 hours.
No tricks. Just treats.
2:30 PM through 2:30 AM, Eastern. One original post, four tickets at most. Winners are paid manually by the team after each drawing. Another post does not raise your odds, and holding the coin does not either.
Built for both sides of the world — US evening, Asia daytime.
Done
The walk is over
Next drawing
All done
This prize
—
Prize pool
13,500,000
Paid by the team after the drawing. Not sent from this page.
Rewards wallet
8TSdwec3jMAo1U57QxfKcnVENdAwfXQpaWiyC4nWbrjS
13,500,000 $ETFG moves here after launch for the contests. Public wallet. Paid out by hand.
2:30 PM ET
@Selenazoid
3:30 PM ET
@DCLVerseWorld
4:30 PM ET
Sneaker walk
5:30 PM ET
Sheet lane
6:30 PM ET
@AlphaBTCPack
7:30 PM ET
The driveway
8:30 PM ET
Lantern row
9:30 PM ET
Bucket house
10:30 PM ET
The mailbox
11:30 PM ET
Light bar
12:30 AM ET
Eye-hole cottage
1:30 AM ET
The hedge
2:30 AM ET
@Selenazoid
Finale, Sunrise house: 2:30 AM ET. Also Nov 2, 3:30 PM SGT/HKT · Nov 2, 4:30 PM JST/KST.
- Both fingers mean yes
- Candy corn is not a strategy
- The truck is not a hearse
- Skeletons advise, they do not drive
- Boo is a feature
- Sneakers stay on
- The bucket is the float
- A toothbrush is governance
- He points, he does not pitch
- October 31 is the fiscal year
Doorbell game
Post about him. Then the bell will answer.
Three rings per post. Each ring awards a random handful of decorative $ETFG. King size, toothbrush, or the truck key. Nothing you receive can be sold.
- 1Post on X about $ETFG, with the porch code he gives you.
- 2Bring the post link back. He reads it before the light comes on.
- 3Three rings. The award is random. Then the porch light goes out until the next post.
The porch light is finding itself.
The bell stays quiet until X has heard of him.
Friendly index
0.000217
+90.4% · Unreasonably friendly
Not a price. It breathes on its own, then jumps when the doorbell gets an answer. Candy corn is a known downdraft.
Pillowcase
Stored here, on this browser. Raffle tickets are the public list, one hour at a time.
0
decorative $ETFG · 0 rings
- Empty, which is the honest opening position. Post, then ring.
The sheet
The friendly ghost does not haunt. He hosts.
Somewhere past the jack-o’-lanterns, a man put on a sheet, kept the sneakers, and filled a pumpkin with whatever the pantry still respected. He pointed. Then he pointed again, because the first finger was not going to cover the whole block.
$ETFG is that second finger. The candy is visible. The advisors are bone. There is a silver truck in the driveway with the light bar on, which is either a treasury or a very committed night light. The chart cheers when the block is kind and sulks when someone offers candy corn.
- 1If you can see the bucket, you can see the float.
- 2Two fingers means the proposal passed.
- 3A toothbrush is not a loss. It is a dividend of character.
- 4The truck stays in the driveway. So does the sheet.
- 5Friendly is a strategy. Pointing is the distribution.
- 6November is a rumor. The porch light is the calendar.
Where the candy sits
A split of the story, not a cap table. It adds up because the bucket was counted.
- Pillowcase float42%
In the bucket. You can see it from the sidewalk.
- Sneaker liquidity17%
One shoe is on the ground. That one is liquid.
- Porch advisors13%
Skeletons. Vesting runs until they fall over.
- Friendly reserve11%
Apologies, toothbrushes, and candy-corn incidents.
- Light bar9%
The truck is not a hearse. It is a night light.
- Eye-hole R&D8%
Handmade. Slightly uneven. Non-negotiable.
Questions from the sidewalk
Ask. He is pointing anyway.
Is this actually Elon?
A man in a sheet is pointing at you from a driveway. The sheet is the legal department. This is a parody. He is not involved, the truck is not a partnership, and the skeletons have no comment.
Can I buy $ETFG here?
No. There is no swap and no mint on this porch. The Friendly 13 records thirteen drawings. 13,500,000 $ETFG moves to the public rewards wallet after launch. The team pays winners from that wallet by hand. This page does not send the coins.
How do I get to ring?
Post about $ETFG on X and include the porch code on the bell. Bring the link back. He reads the post. Then you get three rings. The raffle is separate: one original post, four tickets at most.
Are the wallets public?
Yes, on the raffle page. The handle and the address you choose stay up. Never paste a seed phrase.
What if I don't win?
You sit out the later drawings. Your tickets do not move, and another post does not add more. Everyone who entered is eligible again for the finale, Nov 2 at 2:30 AM ET (3:30 PM in Singapore and Hong Kong, 4:30 PM in Tokyo and Seoul).
When does he draw?
We're running it back. The drawings run from Nov 1, 2:30 PM ET to Nov 2, 2:30 AM ET. Singapore and Hong Kong see the last name at 3:30 PM on Nov 2. Tokyo and Seoul see it at 4:30 PM. Thirteen drawings, at half past every hour. Entries close at :25, five minutes before each one. Winners of the first twelve sit out until that finale.
Why both fingers?
One finger is a mood. Two fingers is a policy. The second one is for the people in the back, and for the light bar.
What is the friendly index?
A mood with a decimal. It wiggles on its own and jumps when you ring. It is not a price, a market, or a promise. Candy corn makes it worse, which feels correct.
Do the skeletons get paid?
They are advisors. Vesting is until they fall over. They have not fallen over. They are very proud of this.
What about November 1?
The fiscal year is October 31. November is a rumor started by people who take the sheet off. He does not.
Why the sneakers?
Because a committed ghost still finishes the walk to the car. One foot stays. One foot goes. That is the chart.